PUBLICATION: Expected publication: August 5th 2014 by Berkley
GENRE: NA/A > Humor | Womens Fiction
PAGES: 304pages (KIndle Edition)
SOURCE: e-arc via Publisher (Netgalley)
BLURB FROM GOODREADS:
Okay I admit it… I didn’t do it.
This is normal, right? I mean, just because everyone I know has talked like they’ve already done it doesn’t mean that they’re telling the truth… right?
It’s not like I’m asking for that much. I don’t need the perfect guy. I don’t need candlelight or roses.Honestly, I don’t even need a real bed.
The guys I know complain that girls are always looking for Mr. Right- do I have to wear a sign that says I’m only looking for Mr. Right Now?
Sooo.. Anyone out there want sex? Anyone? Hello? Just for fun?
I am not going to die a virgin. One way or another I am going to make this happen.
Hey, what have I got to lose?
Besides the obvious.
“The rumor about boys finding virgins sexy was a LIE. It was just some medieval bullshit that old people said to try and make their daughters keep their legs crossed and not get pregnant”
First of all, Virgin is not Erotica. And honestly, I wonder why it wasn’t shelved as Erotica. I mean, yeah, it wasn’t really focused on sex scenes but the language…. and there’s actually a chapter dedicated on teaching someone how to give a proper Blow.. gift (If you’ll read the book, you’ll get this joke) Anyway, I’m not an expert when it comes to this thing so I’m just going to say that Virgin is not for everybody. That’s for sure. Some might get offended or get turned off, but some (like me) will be totally surprised and will like it because despite of its crude and malicious language and content… It’s honest. And it’s freaking hilarious! Okay, so there’s a lot of cringe worthy moments like.. MINI SPOILERS! SKIP THE GIF’s!
SHE ACCIDENTALLY CUT HER CLITORIS.
SHE SLIPPED ON A… SEMEN (that is not her own)
SHE TRIED TO BREAK HER OWN HYMEN WITH A BOTTLE
and she also.. ACCIDENTALLY BIT A GUY’S thing while doing a blow-gift.
Ellie, a 20 year-old virgin is a Riot! I love her, but she frustrates me a lot of times. Her last senior in UNI is all about one thing: losing her virginity. She doesn’t even care to whom! She just want it gone. Being a virgin is like a disease to her, she can’t really be a ‘normal’ person and she doesn’t feel like she ‘belong’ when she’s still a virgin. So I guess you can see why I’m frustrated here. Okay.. maybe not. It’s just, Ellie is so consumed with the idea that she’s an embarrassment to humanity just because she was a virgin. And because of that, she became miserable and desperate and pathetic.. Even her bestfriend confronted her for it.
“You have your friends, you’re doing well at uni—but you’re just obsessed with finding a guy and losing your virginity. If you forgot about that for one second, you might actually enjoy your final year instead of freaking out the whole time”
See? I personally believe that being a virgin isn’t something to made fun of. And being NOT A VIRGIN is alsonot something you should be ashamed about . It’s every girls personal decision. This is why I’m sick of girls bringing down other girls. WE BELONG IN THE SAME SPECIES. Stop with the shaming! Of any kind.
“Life as an adult virgin is more complicated than you might think. Obviously it is normal, there are thousands of us, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Choosing when to have sex is a completely individual decision, and everyone is different. Some people choose to wait till marriage, and some just want to wait for the right person. Others are religious, and others are just too busy being successful in every other area of their lives to worry about something as minor as intercourse.”
Other than my little frustration there at Ellie, I have nothing but fascination for this book. Ellie is… US, or we all have been her at one point of our lives. Gosh, I think I’m still in that stage. When I say that stage, it’s when you’re figuring out things.. uhm, I think you know what things I’m talking about. Anyway, I AM 18. I’m not saying I’m innocent and doesn’t know anything, but, I’m not an expert either. All I know about sex and dildos and vibrators and blow…gift are from books! Okay, now I want to stop typing. I’m laughing so hard now at my realizations. All I want to say is, I LEARNED A LOT FROM THIS BOOK. Though there are some things that I’d rather not learn, I’m still grateful. I just noticed that in our society now that we have all this magazine for GUYS and it’s informative for them, but how about for Women? Sure, we still have Cosmo.. But seriously, Cosmo have like, a gazillion advice that (in personal experience and from others) didn’t work quite well.
“Magazines are just hypocritical. They’re meant to tackle female issues but none of them write about how awkward it is to shave your vagina. They don’t even rate hair removal products for how well they work on the bikini zone. They just focus on the safe zones like legs and underarms. It drives me crazy.” Emma’s eyes lit up in excitement. “Oh, my God. We need to publicize this to the world. We need to be the new teenage agony aunts to help all those thirteen-year-olds figure out how to de-hair their vaginas”
I’m going to focus on the characters in this review because it’s just plain phenomenal. I’ve never been so close at female characters like this before and I feel like I’m always part of their conversation. These girls might be your bestfriend or your neighbor or YOU. They’re dynamic. Authentic. And I think I have an eight pack now because of laughing so hard because of them. When Ellie had a little argument with her bestfriend, Lara, she found herself getting close to Emma, who always have stories about her sex life. Which, by the way, Ellie envied
“One of us is a virgin and one of us is a slut. The two are not mutually exclusive and regardless of our experiences, we both have very similar views on the world of sex, virginity, and vaginas.”
Then this two had a lightbulb moment and decided to make Vlog. No, it’s not a Video-Blog, it’s a Vagina-Blog.. like, a blog for Vaginas. Vagina problems and all that.
Ellie’s journey from a being a Virgin to being not anymore is comical but very real and helpful and this book is like guide for clueless girls out there. No, it’s not gonna turn you into some sex genius or expert but it’ll help you understand and be prepared for some feminine issues that we are going to face.. You know, like, waxing (what am i gonna get? what the hell is a brazillian? wait someones going to wax my vagina for me?) or giving someone a blo- NO I AM SORRY I DON’T THINK I AM READY YET FOR THIS CONVERSATION. Haha! Radhika is a witty and brilliant writer and her book is a gem! Well written and straightforward. I’m gonna leave you a quote from Ellie, that i really loved:
“I only accepted my virginity after I lost it. I wish I had done it earlier, but either way, I’m glad I finally have. So whoever you are, whether you lost your virginity twenty years ago or you still have it, just accept it. Embrace any STDs you may or may not have, along with the regrets, the disastrous stories, the heartbreak, the pain and the regret. Because if it weren’t… Life would be dull”